I internet date! EEP! Even as I write the words, I can actually feel the shame rise up and bubble to the surface. I don’t know why I feel like it’s my dirty laundry, but I do. I don’t judge other people for doing it and, in fact, I know a ton of people who do. But then, I just can’t seem to admit it, myself. My internet dating self is like a sleeping tiger. Well, not really, more like a girl with a really bad hair cut who just keeps wearing her hair in a pony tail till it grows out.
I have been a slew of first dates. To the point where some of my prior dates could walk by me right now and I probably wouldn’t even recognize them. It’s not for free food, I’ve actually paid for more dates than I’d like to admit, but that’s for another day. At this point, it’s not even for the date. I LOVE checking my inbox to see what men will say to me that day. Not attention-wise, more like a social experiment-wise.
It’s amazing, there are all these free websites that people flock to to find their soulmate (allegedly, at least) and then they send out these ridiculous messages. I mean, what the hell ever happened to proofreading? I’ve gotten messages that may as well have been WriTtEn iin a dEeffeRenT lAYngweDgE, messages that were aggressive and even angry, messages that gave WAY too much information, messages that were sad (but sorry, puppy dog eyes don’t work on girls who read), and even messages that were so misogynistic that they might has well have started out with “get in the kitchen and quit your bitchin”.
Ah yes, these messages are just too beautiful at this point to keep them to myself, so now I shall send them back off into the world. Don’t freak out now, of course I’d never post a location, name, age, or even user name of a man that sent me a message, but why not just “pay it forward” if you will. After all, why would I ever keep a message like “I lost my teddy bear, can I fuck you?” to myself. And YES that was in my inbox one day. And YES I laughed for a solid 15 minutes and then never responded, of course.
