One time I went on a date with this guy that I met online. I was super busy that day and ended up skipping lunch, so once it was time for our planned dinner I was really looking forward to it. When we met at the restaurant he said that he’d order for us, which I thought was funny but I figured, whatever he picked the restaurant maybe he knows some great dish that I just have to try. Again, I was STARVING. He ordered me…hummus with carrots and celery, no lie. I didn’t know whether to be offended or not, and I wanted to correct him while he was ordering and be like, “no I’ll have the cheeseburger”, but I really just didn’t want to make things more awkward, we had just met. I sat envious of his meal the entire time while he talked about post rock and his beard.  A sat there silently thinking to myself “What the fuck is post rock, and why is the guy such an arrogant asshole?”. When we were done, he said that he was short and asked if I’d mind covering his part of his meal. Which, whatever that’s fine, IF you hadn’t ordered me air with a side of negative calories and yourself a $10 beer and actual food.

After dinner, I was looking forward to us going our separate ways, but somehow he talked me into going to this bar that is always teeming with tools . Here is the part that I don’t think I will ever understand: Why did I say yes to this, who knows? I hate a place like the bar in question, I was hungry and it was thus far the worst that I had ever been on. But I did say yes, I think just to see how bad it could possibly get (I’m one of those people that sometimes like to stick it out to see where the story will unfold), and off we were! On the way there, while we were in a packed public bus, he got into a 15 minute long fight on the phone with his best friend, who HE called. I was totally mortified, EVERYONE was staring at us as he was very loudly and angrily saying horrid and other wise non family friendly words.  When we got there, we went to a section where -SURPRISE!- all of his friends and roommates were having a private party, and I was introduced to everyone, I’m pretty sure he said girlfriend at one point, lol. It was hilariously awful and me and some friends had great laughs over it once I met up with them after. I don’t know how I stayed so nice and polite to him for so long but I think I was just so stunned by his actions that I couldn’t help but to try and pacify him and the situation. Basically, it was awesome.